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“IF MY DOG DOESN’T LIKE YOU, I DON’T LIKE YOU.”
“DOG HAIR IS A CONDIMENT IN OUR KITCHEN”
“SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE WEIGHT GAIN, DEPRESSION AND LOSS OF SEX DRIVE. ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF MARRIAGE IS RIGHT FOR YOU.”
“AGREE TO DISAGREE IS WHERE YOU BOTH DECIDE THE OTHER PERSON IS AN ASSHOLE”
“THE HOURS BETWEEN COFFEE AND WINE REALLY HAVE NO PURPOSE”
“COFFEE TAKES THE BITCH RIGHT OUT OF ME.”
“COFFEE KEEPS ME BUSY UNTIL IT’S WINE TIME.”
“OOPS, DID I BUY WINE AGAIN INSTEAD OF MILK?”
“WINE! HOW CLASSY PEOPLE GET SHITFACED”
“PUH LEEZ! LIKE YOU NEVER DRANK DINNER.
“WINE DOESN’T MAKE YOU FAT, IT MAKES YOU LEAN AGAINST TABLES CHAIRS, WALLS AND UGLY PEOPLE.”
“BEER WILL CHANGE THE WORLD! I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT IT WILL”
