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“EVERY DAY I GIVE MY FAMILY TWO CHOICES FOR DINNER TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT”
“WINE DOESN’T MAKE YOU FAT, IT MAKES YOU LEAN AGAINST TABLES CHAIRS, WALLS AND UGLY PEOPLE.”
“IF MY DOG DOESN’T LIKE YOU, I DON’T LIKE YOU.”
“DOG HAIR IS A CONDIMENT IN OUR KITCHEN”
“A CLEAN HOUSE IS A SIGN OF A WASTED LIFE”
“BEING UNSTABLE & BITCHY IS ALL PART OF MY MYSTIQUE”
“YOU SAY I’M A BITCH LIKE IT’S A BAD THING”
“BEER WILL CHANGE THE WORLD! I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT IT WILL”
“IF IT FITS IN TOASTER, I CAN COOK IT”
“IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN”
“IT’S BEEN LOVELY BUT I HAVE TO SCREAM NOW”
“I DON’T HAVE HOT FLASHES. I HAVE SHORT, PRIVATE VACATIONS IN THE TROPICS”
