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“MARIJUANA – ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF IT’S RIGHT FOR YOU!”
“PART OF ME SAYS ‘I CAN’T KEEP DRINKING LIKE THIS’, THE OTHER PART SAYS ‘DON’T LISTEN TO HER SHE’S DRUNK’.”
“SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE WEIGHT GAIN, DEPRESSION AND LOSS OF SEX DRIVE. ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF MARRIAGE IS RIGHT FOR YOU.”
“BOOBS ARE PROOF THAT MEN CAN FOCUS ON TWO THINGS AT ONCE.”
IF YOU’RE TALKING BEHIND MY BACK…YOU’RE IN A REAL GOOD POSITION TO KISS MY ASS!”
“TWO MARGARITAS AND I’M DROPPING F-BOMBS LIKE THEY WERE COMMAS.”
“BEER WILL CHANGE THE WORLD! I DON’T KNOW HOW, BUT IT WILL”
“AGREE TO DISAGREE IS WHERE YOU BOTH DECIDE THE OTHER PERSON IS AN ASSHOLE”
“DOG HAIR IS A CONDIMENT IN OUR KITCHEN”
“I’M GOING TO HELL IN EVERY RELIGION”
“MY FANTASY IS TO HAVE TWO MEN AT ONCE. ONE COOKING. ONE CLEANING.”
“I AM ONE BAD RELATIONSHIP FROM HAVING 30 CATS”
